Why Expectations Have No Place In Sex

One of the biggest obstacles to intimacy is expectation.

It is natural to develop expectations about they way sex should be. How you should perform, what is acceptable and what is not, what pleasure looks and sounds like, how your partner should respond…

It is easy to get caught up in the expectation of climax, and the expectation of a certain level of pleasure every time.

Focus on the destination takes you out of the moment-to-moment experience, which is where the deepest intimacy and the most expansive pleasure is experienced.

When you shed the expectations, you free up your awareness to rest on the moment in front of you. You can tune into every subtle sensation, every shift in energy, every movement and every breath.

You aren’t worried about what is coming next. Instead, you are on a journey together through each moment, with no thought of where it will lead.

Often, sex can become a bit of a routine. As a couple you may have your go-to positions, your particular sequence of moves, and your expected length of time.

When you release expectations....

then every experience is new.

When you release expectations...

then an intimate experience that doesn’t end in orgasm is not a failure.

When you release expectations...

then you can find the immense pleasure and connection in each moment, and climax becomes secondary.

When you release expectations...

a whole world of possibility opens up for your sex life and your relationship.

This is one of the foundations of sacred sexuality.

Try this

Before making love, sit facing each other, look into each other’s eyes, and declare that you are releasing all expectations. Give each other permission to surrender to the present moment, and not to worry about where it is headed.

Afterward, reflect together about how the experience was for each of you, what was different than usual, and what your takeaways are from the experience.

If you’re interested in deepening your intimacy and expanding your sex life, join our FREE 30 Day Intimacy Challenge for couples.

Each day you’ll receive an email with a focus for the day to bring to your lovemaking, and a question to ask each other. Take a leap together, have some fun, and see what happens!

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Love,

Cassidy