From Conflict to Connection: Our Real-Life Application of the MASTER Framework

When you have a fight or even a small moment of rupture, how do you not only repair it but turn it into an opportunity for growth?

Hey, I’m Cassidy!

Today , we talk about thriving relationships and how to live a life of pleasure and purpose.

Matt and I will give you an example of the MASTER Framework in action, using a moment of friction from our own lives recently.

The MASTER Framework is a six-step process for turning a moment of conflict into connection. So if that sounds interesting to you, then stay tuned!

As you know, if you follow along, we're always discussing how to take challenging moments—moments of friction—and transform them into something positive.

Since we've been on our journey of relationship exponential growth, we've had fewer and fewer of these moments. But today, we did have one that we wanted to share with you.

A Moment of Friction

Cassidy: So, let’s dive right in. We’ll share what was going on and then what we did about it.

Matt: This morning, we were both busy with our respective projects. I was working on a significant real estate project and coordinating with team members back East while being under a time crunch.

Cassidy: Meanwhile, I was focused on launching my next program, Know Your Bliss, which I’m really excited about! I was having some trouble with marketing strategies, so I asked Matt if I could have five minutes of his time to help me work through it.

Matt: And I thought, “Sure, I can spare five minutes to help you out.”

Cassidy: But what I brought to you turned out to be more than just a five-minute question—it was more like a half-hour discussion!

Matt: Yes, and I started feeling the time crunch. I wanted to give you an answer and move on, but the conversation wasn’t flowing well.

Choosing Connection Over Disconnection

At one point, I had to get back to work, and we both felt a little icky, not connected. With the high standard we have for our relationship and how we feel, we knew we couldn't just let that go.

So, enter the MASTER Framework! If you’d like a refresher or a more in-depth dive, check out the previous episode, which we’ll link in the description. But here’s a brief overview of how we applied it in that moment.

1. Take a Moment: I went for a walk. I was sitting there for a few minutes, trying to keep working, but realized I had some feelings that needed to be felt. So, I decided to take a walk to clear my head, appreciate nature, and give Matt time to acknowledge and allow his feelings too.

2. Acknowledge and Allow: During my walk, I noticed what I was feeling, welcomed it, and even cried a few tears. It was a powerful release.

3. Apologize and Communicate: After returning, Matt showed up and apologized for being impatient and frustrated during our conversation. He used nonviolent communication, which is so vital in these moments. High fives to him for that!

4. Embrace: Since one of my primary love languages is physical touch, I really enjoy a nice long embrace. It was during this hug that I realized I skipped a step and needed to acknowledge my own feelings.

5. Requests and Resolution: We decided to schedule at least half-hour chunks for strategy sessions in the calendar. We also agreed that if the timing doesn’t work for either of us, we should communicate that and pick another time.

Building New Agreements

Having those requests was collaborative and made sense to both of us. We felt good again, back in the juicy flow, feeling connected once more.

This example shows how we can take moments of frustration—moments that would have been easy to sweep under the rug—and instead work through them together.

We came out on the other side feeling connected again, which is the biggest takeaway. We also established new agreements that will help us live life together in a more harmonious way. This process has led to fewer conflicts over time, making our connection stronger.

The Compound Effect of Connection

If we hadn't gone through the MASTER Framework and resolved our conflict, we might have spent the day feeling slightly disconnected.

In intimacy, to truly have a free flow of connection required for great sex, there needs to be nothing between you. Each unresolved issue is like a smudge of dirt on a sheet of glass, making it harder to connect.

So, remember not to sweep the little things under the rug.

Big walls are built one brick at a time, so don't let the little things slide!

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For more resources, download our free guide, "17 Habits for an Outstanding Relationship."